After months of staring into PDFs and endless Googling of diseases, this neuroanatomy textbook from 1995 is… refreshing. There’s something irreplaceable about the concrete book. I forgot how much I enjoyed annotating with real highlighters and then recognizing my distinct handwriting upon returning to the notes in the margins. Also, turning real pages beats scrolling, even if ctrl+F is more efficient.
2 more months until we’re done with year 2 material. Time indeed flies.

After months of staring into PDFs and endless Googling of diseases, this neuroanatomy textbook from 1995 is… refreshing. There’s something irreplaceable about the concrete book. I forgot how much I enjoyed annotating with real highlighters and then recognizing my distinct handwriting upon returning to the notes in the margins. Also, turning real pages beats scrolling, even if ctrl+F is more efficient.

2 more months until we’re done with year 2 material. Time indeed flies.


my kind of work space (more the windows + high ceilings, as opposed to the actual view)

some day, paula haha :)

my kind of work space (more the windows + high ceilings, as opposed to the actual view)

some day, paula haha :)

(via deliriousity)


if i were to live in the city.

if i were to live in the city.

(via deliriousity)


I came back…

to keep track of random things Yohan says. I remember last year, back in the “earlier” months, he used to always bust out these crazy analogies (connecting science and faith, relationships and science, oranges and apples, etc). I wanted to write everything down back then but they came too frequently so I just didn’t bother. Now, they dont occur as often lol, but when they do, I think “man, that was pretty profound for a 27 year old guy”, and I want to jot it down. So now, I shall… try. Some will be written after the fact (like the patch-clamping analogy that will come in another entry, but was one of the first ones I remember him saying). Others will be written in the moment (whether he approves or not :P).. basically, most will be hastily written and not edited.

He never keeps track of things he says— and often forgets even the most common topics discussed (and thus repeats things often… -__-), but for certain comments, I feel like they are worth noting… just to read back on in the future. :)

So here’re some random notes that I jotted down last night, right before I went to bed. It’s not a complete reflection of what he said and may be paraphrased, but it’s good enough:

"The reason medicine changes me"…

It’s not when I learn about the neuronal pathways from head to toe— that’s not what changes me.
It’s the moments in medicine that point to the human condition and our need for Christ.. A lot of fields of discipline point to humanity— in understanding it. The arts, philosophy, all the humanities, science (added by Paula: physics — how does this world all come together; biology — how do we function as living beings).. And especially medicine.
When I was in the VA hospital, I saw a heroin addict who had relapsed after 2 weeks of freedom from addiction that had been affecting him for the past 30 years. I was presenting this patient to my preceptor.. and I remember saying the line, “Unfortunately this patient relapsed and that’s why he’s in the hospital.” And at that time my preceptor said something I will never forget and that caught me off guard. And he posed the question to me, “Why do you think it’s unfortunate that he relapsed?’” To me the answer was obvious; it was another failure.
But I’ll never forget the next words he said to me. “It’s not actually a failure but another opportunity for him to see the destructive power of heroin. And maybe this time around he’ll finally see that and turn around. Each relapse, then, is an opportunity of hope. It’s an opportunity for him to change his ways”.
So whenever I sin, whenever I fail.. I used to beat myself over all my deficiencies and insecurities, but it helps me to remember that it’s not a failure.. that i’m not a failure. Instead, every time, it’s actually an opportunity to see my weakness and to understand how sinful we are without God. it’s actually kind of necessary for us to see the human condition and to look to God in these moments. All of us have our own weaknesses that manifest in different ways and whenever we fail, it’s an opportunity to self-reflect and to seek God.
"The best way to teach someone"…
is not to tell them that they did something wrong. But the best way is for them to realize it themselves. ln the Bible when Peter thinks he’s so much holier than he really is, Christ’s way of correcting that is not to tell him, “You’re really not that holy. You need to be more humble”, but Christ’s way of teaching him is to let him see it by himself.
So Jesus says, “You’re going to deny me 3 times by the time the rooster crows tomorrow.” And even though Peter denies it at the time, the next day he ultimately realizes his sinfulness when he does as Jesus had said.
When you finally get a concept, something clicks. It’s like when I understood heart failure. Yes there’s edema at your feet, in both extremities bilaterally, there’s SOB (shortness of breath), hypoxia, chest pain, but then all these symptoms are just separate symptoms when you’re still learning heart failure. And it doesn’t make sense until one day you’re like “I get it”. And you can tell the person all the symptoms of their sin, but until they understand the pathophysiology of sin, they’ll never understand the issue. They’ll acknowledge it, but they won’t understand the big picture of how it all fits.
"When we talk big and become ambitious for our future, even if we say it’s for God, ultimately it is more for ourselves, because…" 
Mose’s mom—let’s say she decided that she wanted to be a big person in life and wanted to save sick children in Africa— present day— (although she was in Africa), then what would happen to Moses? Her job in life was to be a good mother and to raise Moses. And in looking at the big picture, her objective in life from God was to raise Moses because Moses was going to be the one driving the slaves out of Egypt. It wasn’t her. But if she decided she wanted to have a fulfilling life and save sick children in Africa, then who knows— Moses may have not been the great prince he became or maybe he wouldnt’ have remembered his Hebrew roots. So what i’m trying to say is.. I guess not everyone is meant to take the slaves out of Egypt. But maybe to nurse the next liberator..  (likewise for Abraham Lincoln and his mother).
Next:
patch-clamping and unsteadiness of relationships… the megaohm.
^Yes, there is actually a connection.


from ‘Every Patient Tells a Story’

She’s [Dean of students at Yale Medical School] concerned that medical education spends too much time focusing the students’ attention on the disease and not enough time on the patient. She cringes when she overhears a student refer to a patient by his disease and location, or when the discussion of a cool diagnosis overlooks the potentially tragic consequences for the person with the disease. She worries that the doctors they will become will forget how to talk to the patient, to listen to the patient, to feel for the patient. For years she worried that in the excitement of mastering the language and culture of medicine they might lose the empathy that brought them to medical school in the first place. 

2 versions of a patient’s story: first as the patient told it and then as it might have been written up by a doctor… both presented by a doctor who spent a year interviewing African American patients about their experiences in the health care setting…

"In June 1967, I went to Vietnam. I was a member of the First Infantry Division. My first evening there, they sent me out on an ambush." She didn’t have any props, nor a costume, but through her voice and expressions she became this middle-aged black man who never recovered from the battlefields and bars of his year in the Vietnam War. She portrayed this man, clearly destroyed by an almost lethal dose of post-traumatic stress disorder, drugs and liquor. It was a compelling performance.

"I had been drinking. I was very loud and belligerent that night and my sister, who is probably the closest person to me, walked off and said that she was never going anywhere with me again. Afterward, I went out to the Dumpster and i threw the bottle in that Dumpster and I said that I was never going to drink anymore. I tried to stop on my own, but the next morning when the liquor store was open I was right there buying another bottle. A lot of times, people—they want off but they have no control. That is what the bondages of Satan do, using alcohol and drugs.”


The doctor seamlessly switched into a professional voice, with crisp diction and shorn of any accent as she read a re-creation of what a hospital admission note might have read.

"Chief complaint— a 34 year African American male brought in by police; a question of a drug overdose. The history of the presenting illness: The patient was found unresponsive and brought to ER. He was intubated in the field to protect his airway since he was actively seizing, which caused respiratory depression when he was found. In the ER, the patient was minimally responsive to pain. Per police, he had 3 grams of cocaine in pocket. He has been identified by his driver’s license as Mr. R. Johnson whose prior medical records indicate multiple past admissions for drug overdose."

"You’re starting out on the journey across this bridge, this education, and right now you are on the same side as your patients. And as you get halfway over the bridge you’ll find yourself changing and the language the patient had and you had is being replaced by this other language, the language of medicine. Their personal story is being replaced by the medical story. And then you find yourself on the other side of that bridge— you’re part of the medical culture. When you get there, I want you to hold on to every it of your old self, your now self. I want you to remember these patients."


Working list of books to read, with unread ones in order of interest:

  • Every Patient Tells a Story (in progress)
  • The Chosen by Chaim Potok
  • The Sun Also Rises - Ernest Hemingway
  • Come Be My Light - collection of Mother Teresa’s Letters
  • Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
  • Ender’s Game* reread
  • The Four Loves by C.S. Lewis
  • A Visit from the Goon Squad - Jennifer Egan
  • My Life in France - Julia Child
  • Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
  • Home by Marilynne Robinson
  • The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
  • Quiet - Susan Cain
  • The Emperor’s Children - Claire Messud
  • Life of Pi* still unfinished
  • The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime - Mark Haddon
  • Anthem by Ayn Rand
  • Becoming Justice Blackmun by Linda Greenhouse
  • The Diplomat’s Wife by Pam Jenoff
  • What She Saw - Lucinda Rosenfeld
  • The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri
  • Generous Justice by Tim Keller
  • Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller
  • Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder
  • Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborn
  • Blue Sweater by Jacqueline Novagratz

Arranged a new reading spot. Also got some flowers for the deck and planted a few succulents in a pot this evening. might upload a newer version tmrw. (good) coffee and a (good) book… keeps me fairly happy.
There are several nice quotes in The Namesake.. and one that I just came across that I feel like jotting down:

He understands why she lived here (Paris) for as long as she did, away from her family, away from anyone she knew. Her French friends adore her. Waiters and shopkeepers adore her. She both fits in perfectly yet remains slightly novel. Here Moushumi had reinvented herself, without misgivings, without guilt. 

Arranged a new reading spot. Also got some flowers for the deck and planted a few succulents in a pot this evening. might upload a newer version tmrw. (good) coffee and a (good) book… keeps me fairly happy.

There are several nice quotes in The Namesake.. and one that I just came across that I feel like jotting down:

He understands why she lived here (Paris) for as long as she did, away from her family, away from anyone she knew. Her French friends adore her. Waiters and shopkeepers adore her. She both fits in perfectly yet remains slightly novel. Here Moushumi had reinvented herself, without misgivings, without guilt. 


ooohh..
inspiration for potential flag banners in our new apartment? (@chewyjuhee.. i wish this worked in tumblr lol) i like the neutral toned wrinkled look.

ooohh..

inspiration for potential flag banners in our new apartment? (@chewyjuhee.. i wish this worked in tumblr lol) i like the neutral toned wrinkled look.

(via keroiam)


from an anonymous graduating med student’s perspective:

I don’t think the home visits from the [social medicine] elective or the ——- ——- health fair surprised me, but it definitely reinforces this idea of resource-poor settings and how there’s such a disconnect between the sterile, quick-paced doctor’s office and someone’s home, and how they’re actually going to take the intended plan in this sterile, formal manner and implement it in their home. It’s laughable to me when doctors say, “oh you need to lose weight, just exercise and eat less”. It’s almost worse off for the patients, because then they feel like they’re doing something wrong, but the idea of implementing a whole new eating plan and exercising all on your own in a resource-poor setting is almost insurmountable. It’s comical sometimes, when doctors think we can just say that we’re doing our job.


yes!! i love this. the atmosphere.. white simplicity… dark hardwood flooring. and the nice standard old-school windows.

yes!! i love this. the atmosphere.. white simplicity… dark hardwood flooring. and the nice standard old-school windows.

(via sweethomestyle)